I should play the lottery more!

I have played the lottery 6 times in the past year.

Here are the outcomes of THREE of these occasions:

I think I should play the lottery more!!

Michael Jackson and my awesome mother!

When I was growing up I, like many people, was utterly obsessed with Michael Jackson.
I couldn't imagine a cooler person and was mesmerised by his singing, his dancing, clothes, everything.

I would spend hours listening and singing along to his music, trying out the dance moves with my friend Doug.

Doug could emulate every move Michael Jackson did perfectly.
He would slide, step and moonwalk his way around the wooden floor of his mum's kitchen.

I could do nothing more than stumble and step around in time (usually) with the beat.

I was SO jealous!!

Turn's out I'd never grow up to be the female MJ at this rate!

My 8th birthday was coming up so I went down to the shops with my mum to look at potential presents.

We'd got a few things and the shops had started to close when, in one of the many charity shop windows, I spotted the most awesome birthday present I could possibly imagine!

It was a gold jacket.

One very similar (to my untrained eyes at least) to a military style one MJ had worn on tour..

I just HAD to have it!

Being in a charity shop, it was only a couple of pounds so my mum bought it as I tugged on her sleeve excitedly.

It was massively too big for me but I insisted on wearing it for my whole birthday, pulling the sleeves around my elbows all day.

It turned out my mum had also made me a special birthday cake.

It had black, grey and white icing with the shapes of a hat and white glove on it.

The glove even had silver edible balls on it to make it look shiny like MJ's white glove!!

I decided then and there that I officially had the coolest mother in the world!!

London life #1: Zooming!

This happens everywhere really, but it is very common in London where everyone is in a rush 99% of the time.

You're walking down the street. Very fast.
Maybe you're late for a meeting. Perhaps you're hurrying to catch a train.
Most often you just want to get home after work as quickly as possible..

You are walking about as fast as you can without breaking into a jog. You could do just that but no, you want to look purposeful.
Only thieves and weirdos JOG down the street in London without wearing a tracksuit! And even then..

Someone exits a building next to you and starts walking in the same direction. At exactly the same pace!

You can't walk any faster and you don't want to slow down. Why should you?
You want to get home, dammit!

So here you are, walking with a total stranger.
You feel uncomfortable, awkward.
You find yourself resenting them, hoping they'll trip and fall..

You start to wonder if they're doing it on purpose to unnerve you.
Maybe they're stalking you.
Maybe they're just waiting until you turn down a quiet road to mug you..

What if this kindly looking old man is the serial killer you saw on Crimewatch that time..

He looks a bit shifty..

HOW CAN THAT OLD GUY WALK SO FAST ANYHOW...??



There is only one thing for it...

Sketches and scribbles

ARGH! Don't you just hate it when you have the image in your mind of what your drawing will look like, then as soon as you put pencil to paper it just goes horribly wrong!!

I thought I'd try my hand at drawing my, frankly beautiful, Boyface, and he came out looking like a rather lopsided transvestite. And not a convincing transvestite (you know, the ones that it's only on the second take that you realise, "Hey, wait a minute that girl's a BOY!") but the kind towering above everyone with a deep voice and a 5 o'clock shadow...
 To allow you to appreciate the awfulness of this drawing, I felt I should post it- as this blog should be as much about the journey as anything.

In all fairness this was my first attempt at "proper" drawing, as opposed to cartoon types, for a very very long time. But still...

I may have to keep on practicing. And maybe not attempt to work from memory next time!!

I did doodle a couple of other pics I was a bit happier with late last night while half watching the TV, so I'll share those as well for good measure..

Fare thee well for now! xx

Drunken Games: #2 - Where are you, Witch?

In all honesty I can't remember if this is a real existing game or if we made it up in our drunken stupor..

Best played in the countryside, due to the creepiness and to increase difficulty when seeking.
It's basically a reverse version of Hide and Seek - one person (the Witch) hides while the others (the Angry Mob) hunt for her/him..

Torches are allowed for the Angry Mob, who also get 3 chances to shout "Where are you, Witch??"
The Witch must cackle as loudly as possible.

The Witch can move in between cackles, but must remain in the same general area after the final one.

I was almost always the Witch, due to my very loud, uncanny witch-like cackle.
I would often sneak around and take a member of the Angry Mob hostage as well, just to increase the scare factor.

"Heheheheheheheheee!"

Drunken Games: #1 - Murder in the Dark

When I was a teenager living in the countryside, there was not much to do. So we decided to make our own entertainment.
Getting very drunk and playing silly games was a common theme.

If you're looking to be freaked out and excited in equal measure, I would recommend playing Murder in the Dark.

1. Find a big(ish) house with lots of nooks and crannies.

2. Move objects out of the way that could do damage (nobody likes falling down stairs or losing an eye!)

3. Prepare pieces of paper- all saying "victim" apart from one saying "murderer"

4. Fold the paper and pick out of a hat- don't let anybody else see your paper

5. Turn off the lights and scatter (give people 5 minutes to hide)

6a) If you're a victim, hide! Choose somewhere out of the way but escapable in an emergency. Also, somewhere comfortable and quiet (no leaning on crunchy carrier bags etc) with a view of the room entrance. You'll appreciate this if the murderer approaches..

6b) If you're the murderer you can start looking for victims and "killing" (usually a tap on a particular shoulder as decided beforehand) them. Or you can be sneaksy and pretend you are a victim, hiding somewhere you are sure other victims will go to and then pounce..

My friends always chose the latter.

7. Pee your pants!!

Introverted Ninja

When I was a child, I was a strange mix of introvert and extrovert.
On the one hand I loved drama, dancing, singing, making up plays and recording radio shows with my sisters.
On the other hand I loved reading, writing and drawing and just wanted to be left alone to do so.

These two sides of myself have, over the years, fought many a feud. I feel they have now reached some kind of middle ground:
i.e I avoid places involving PEOPLE and NOISES and DISTRACTIONS when needed but then occasionally go to a big party or sing onstage or join a dance group.

I would often feel agitated when my calm was disturbed. Whether in communal areas, where the blaring TV or inane chatter would feel like steady drilling to the brain.

Or in the kind concern of my mother (who must have been worried at her daughter voluntarily locking herself away..) when shut up alone in my room.

I would get into moods when all I truly wanted in the world was a book to whisk me off to magical lands or a pen and paper to create my own..

I soon found a couple of hiding places to exercise my creativity in peace.
There was a wall next to our shed. If I climbed onto this, I could easily climb onto the shed roof and avoid being seen by my siblings playing merrily in the garden.

This became one of my favourite spots; a place I could indulge in creativity while still able to run out and play on the swings if I felt the need.

It was also where I would run to if I felt sad or worried, a sanctuary for my imagination.