On the one hand I loved drama, dancing, singing, making up plays and recording radio shows with my sisters.
On the other hand I loved reading, writing and drawing and just wanted to be left alone to do so.
These two sides of myself have, over the years, fought many a feud. I feel they have now reached some kind of middle ground:
i.e I avoid places involving PEOPLE and NOISES and DISTRACTIONS when needed but then occasionally go to a big party or sing onstage or join a dance group.
I would often feel agitated when my calm was disturbed. Whether in communal areas, where the blaring TV or inane chatter would feel like steady drilling to the brain.
Or in the kind concern of my mother (who must have been worried at her daughter voluntarily locking herself away..) when shut up alone in my room.
I would get into moods when all I truly wanted in the world was a book to whisk me off to magical lands or a pen and paper to create my own..
I soon found a couple of hiding places to exercise my creativity in peace.
There was a wall next to our shed. If I climbed onto this, I could easily climb onto the shed roof and avoid being seen by my siblings playing merrily in the garden.
This became one of my favourite spots; a place I could indulge in creativity while still able to run out and play on the swings if I felt the need.
It was also where I would run to if I felt sad or worried, a sanctuary for my imagination.
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